Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
