i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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