So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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