your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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