yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She's not a foreskin expert like you
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
