The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
