why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
