Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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