i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Randomize
