There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
