I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
