dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
