my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
