that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
