Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
