yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
