OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
