just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
