i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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