I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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