i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
