so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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