You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
