it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
