if you like me you must not know who I am
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
