my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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