Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
