you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
