and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
