Your tits are I can't wait for
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
