Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
