i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
