I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
