; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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