omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
