I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
it's like iHOP with fire
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
