if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
