i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I AM VODKA MAN
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
