dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
