he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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