Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I smell like Dick and happiness
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
