Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
