My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
