1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
