You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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