I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
