I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
