look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I was not drunk enough for that final.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
