Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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