Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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